Reflection and Aspirations.

Well,that was a platitudetastic title. Its true though, I've been spending the last couple of days enjoying the freedom to lie around and reflect. I'm also getting a chance to look ahead. At least, as far ahead as I dare to look with so much looming.

I've made contact with quite a few people that I haven't talked to in quite a while. So many of them are moving on with their lives, some of them seem to be chapters ahead in the book while I seem to be stuck reading the introduction still. Like I'm studying before a test and trying to cram, and I keep falling back to that last page I've read a dozen times and have drawn no more out of since the first time.

Not that that's a bad thing. Some of those I've talked to seem to have moved maybe too quickly, blitzed into the world of adults with a little too much eagerness (I have an insatiable desire to spell Eager-Eagre. Help me.) and are now stumbling on huge roadblocks of life. So at least my roadblocks are manageable along with being unimpressive.

Maybe I'm wrong, it just seems to me that for the few years that have passed since high school became a formality and I was just waiting to graduate, that I haven't done much. I moved and went to school. Maybe the moving is a big deal. It just doesn't seem overly impressive to me. Perhaps its because I spent so much time away from home over the years that being gone at an extra long "summer camp" doesn't seem like a big deal. So between that and going back to yet another long seemingly pointless grind at education, and I just feel a bit unfulfilled this year.

Although in the future, that's looking up. I'm very excited at the prospect of changing my major, (assuming I end up going back to school, if anyone feels like sponsoring a re-energized student through his upperclassmen years I'd appreciate it.) Going into Journalism is the first decision I made that seemed so...full of promise. Ok second, getting out of the dorms with my mates was number 1. Perhaps I'll get more of a sense of accomplishment out of making progress in a major/career that I'm actually excited about/like.

I just gotta keep telling myself, as long as I can get signed up for one more semester, I can pound through that with my face, get to summer and catch up on money, work and life then. Till then, I'm working some avenues to try and round up enough money for tuition so that I can sign up for classes for Spring. Yay uncertainty. Not too mention I gotta make rent when I get back...Looks like I better find some short term labor to do as well...

Sigh, I know they say money can't buy happiness, but I'll bet my ass you can buy peace of mind with it.

WTB Peace of Mind.