Phillip Seymour Hoffman is my muse...

I was going to post a rant about Twilight today, but I realized that every caffeine fueled horror nerd in the world is ranting about sparkly vampires and overly tanned guido werewolves...

So instead the roommates and I went to see the new movie, "Pirate Radio." Overall it was a decent movie. Although little thin on plot, it was quite funny and the soundtrack was amazing. It of course inspired a certain rowdiness and energy that makes me wish I had someone to fool around with, but as I don't, here's some lyrical wanderings that came from an hour long blues session with the roomies.

How can a man see, where his life might’ve gone?

How can he know, what’s right and what’s wrong?

How does he know, where it is he must be?

When no one can hear him and no one can see?

This yardstick is placed, at the feet of a babe,

Instructed to learn, and how to behave.

Grow next to this measure, never stray from the line,

Just follow this path it will work out in time.

And as a man grows, he is led to believe,

That what he has done, and what he achieves,

All serves some greater good, some greater plan…

But it don’t man…

So when a man matures, when he’s tall and he’s grown,

When he realizes, that this life’s only his own,

It is then the time comes, that a man must decide,

Where his dreams will take him, where his heart might reside…

It feels like I'm aping Bob Dylan a bit here, but when my guitarist roommates play the same blues riff for 20 minutes it tends to affect the mind...

A more punk-ish sampling...

A bystander in a secret war of fools,

A wrench in a box, so like the other tools.

Bow to those masters that you’ll never see,

Bow to those bastards, submit easily.

Sign away your soul, you won’t use it anyway.

Sign away your life, you’ll be slaving day to day.

Who needs the freedom offered by the men in suits?

I’ve never even seen ‘em, only heard the stomp of boots.

It’s an obsession with obligation,

A concession to annihilation,

A decision for gratification,

A revision for pacification,

A derision of our salvation,

A cessation of your sensation,

A division of this nation,

An incision of this generation

I'm probably just going to keep posting lyrics and poetry in its "first draft" version. I think I'd rather have someone reply with a "nice but..." rather than spend hours trying to reach some perfection to avoid a critique. I like this one mostly for the rapid chorus part. I think that it would be fun to sing.

By the way, this is a werewolf. Stay frosty.

Once more...with feeling!

Alright, so in the interest of actually improving my writing skills, I return once again to the blogowebospherenetertubes with the solemn vow (sworn on a stack of Mt. Dew and transcribed in Baja Sauce,) that I will attempt to write in this personal journal at least once a week. Whether a posting of recent happenings, a copy+paste of recently transcribed creativity, or simply an idle thought, something must be put here every week.

Much has changed since I last posted. If you, dear reader, already know me, then you already know how the path of my life has diverted most drastically from the one laid before me since the early years of high school. However, I consider this to be of little consequence now as I have fully embraced the life available to me now, and no amount of pained recount or awkward justification will alter what it is. What has not changed however, is that writing is still one of the main things that makes me happy in this world. Thus we return, to the point of this resurgence of self published drivel; to give me an opportunity to focus on a regular basis and write something that very few people will read. Yet...it will be written.

So, projects in the future...

1. Story idea...short I think. Based in some childhood memories, incorporating traditional mythological elements, the fae, legends involving races of magic etc...

2. Lyrics. The roommates continue to demand, and thus I shall attempt to continue to provide, lyrical samplings that come to me in fits of lucidity.

3. Poetry. I in fact still love poetry. As such, I will continue to attempt to write it. "But Bizzle, (or Big 'Un, or Beebe)" you plaintively whine, "what's the difference between poetry and lyrics?" Well you'll just have to see won't you?

So, that's what's on the horizon. In between work and...well not much beyond that, I'll be attempting to post as often as possible. Hopefully its good, hopefully its at least vaguely creative. If nothing else, maybe it'll be passingly funny...I'm funny...I really am...

10 Lessons I learned from the Godfather.

After introducing a roommate to the grand epic that is the Godfather, I realized that much of what I've learned in this life I learned at the feet of Don Corleone.

1. Come in Friendship before offering to pay.

2. Don't let men with hats take pictures of you.

3. Do not talk family business with outsiders.

4. Everyone has a price they won't refuse.

5. Stay out of the drug business, its dirty.

6. If you have a big dumb friend that would do anything for you, don't send him undercover, he's big and dumb, and everyone knows he'd do anything for you.

7. Bullet proof vests should not make one feel too safe.

8. Walk, don't run, no one will notice your face.

9. It really pays to know a good lawyer.

10. Never, go against the family.

Cold River

Take a step, in this river of life,
Moves so fast, so quick through my hands,
Never stops, as it winds its way down,
Past the world and through my lands.

Embrace the tide, it pulls you along,
Feel the cold, as it drags through your soul,
Shock of real, through a mind broken by time,
Give up now, all illusion of control.

Every death, happens too soon
Every life, fails to reach full scope,
Timid now, against encroaching night,
Death beckons grimly with twisted rope.

The best of us, die when we're young,
Life leaves us, having spent its time,
Teaching all, to a student of failure,
Whose many lessons drift lazily by.

So grasp the stream, before it dries,
A handful of water, is more than many
take from this world, so immerse in full,
Immerse yourself, and drown in plenty.

-SB

New Day Bounty

A misty vision recedes fast,
far beyond this pane of glass,
against a backdrop of winter's fallen.

Straining eyes reach for signs,
desp'rate warmth the heart it pines,
frantic for a glimpse of reality.

A nervous mind falters under,
weighted tongue breaks words asunder,
but fears crash down like towers 'gainst the waves.

The mist it clears with daylight's rise,
and once again upheld a prize,
a tender touch of Real clutched tight to breast.

Upon this now my courage rests,
ready for a new day's tests,
till Night brings back the mist to part anew.

-S.B.

Reflection and Aspirations.

Well,that was a platitudetastic title. Its true though, I've been spending the last couple of days enjoying the freedom to lie around and reflect. I'm also getting a chance to look ahead. At least, as far ahead as I dare to look with so much looming.

I've made contact with quite a few people that I haven't talked to in quite a while. So many of them are moving on with their lives, some of them seem to be chapters ahead in the book while I seem to be stuck reading the introduction still. Like I'm studying before a test and trying to cram, and I keep falling back to that last page I've read a dozen times and have drawn no more out of since the first time.

Not that that's a bad thing. Some of those I've talked to seem to have moved maybe too quickly, blitzed into the world of adults with a little too much eagerness (I have an insatiable desire to spell Eager-Eagre. Help me.) and are now stumbling on huge roadblocks of life. So at least my roadblocks are manageable along with being unimpressive.

Maybe I'm wrong, it just seems to me that for the few years that have passed since high school became a formality and I was just waiting to graduate, that I haven't done much. I moved and went to school. Maybe the moving is a big deal. It just doesn't seem overly impressive to me. Perhaps its because I spent so much time away from home over the years that being gone at an extra long "summer camp" doesn't seem like a big deal. So between that and going back to yet another long seemingly pointless grind at education, and I just feel a bit unfulfilled this year.

Although in the future, that's looking up. I'm very excited at the prospect of changing my major, (assuming I end up going back to school, if anyone feels like sponsoring a re-energized student through his upperclassmen years I'd appreciate it.) Going into Journalism is the first decision I made that seemed so...full of promise. Ok second, getting out of the dorms with my mates was number 1. Perhaps I'll get more of a sense of accomplishment out of making progress in a major/career that I'm actually excited about/like.

I just gotta keep telling myself, as long as I can get signed up for one more semester, I can pound through that with my face, get to summer and catch up on money, work and life then. Till then, I'm working some avenues to try and round up enough money for tuition so that I can sign up for classes for Spring. Yay uncertainty. Not too mention I gotta make rent when I get back...Looks like I better find some short term labor to do as well...

Sigh, I know they say money can't buy happiness, but I'll bet my ass you can buy peace of mind with it.

WTB Peace of Mind.

Social Life of a UF Student.

I should probably get a life someday...

I've been spoiled a bit by the kickass combination of roommates. I don't really have a social life outside of doing stuff with my guys. I'm noticing that this is something that I might wanna change when Winter Break is over. I've just noticed a few times that when my roomies are busy, or I'm home alone, that I have little else to do here...

So, I'm working on some ideas of what to do for fun after Winter Break. I'm planning on doing some camping with my brother, his roomie and my roommates. Yea, so same guys, but definitely outside of our usual activity schedule.

I'm also considering getting tickets to the basketball games. I hate watching basketball. Understand now how much I just want to get out and do stuff.

I gotta take advantage of some sort of club...We have some sort of ridiculous budget for student groups, I oughta be able to come up with a hobby that I can join a group of people in. Games? Writing? Something...Preferably with girls...

Oh yea, so if there are any free young women in the gainesville area that like sensitive, creative and if I do say, ruggedly handsome guys that are also extremely poor but like to make their girls happy, then call me yo! :P

So, the point is of course, if you also find yourself bored in the Gainesville area and like some easygoing companionship, then give me a buzz and we'll hang! I promise, I can be cool sometimes! (904) 234-4578